Amazing, but people prefer the bold lie to the hesitant truth, says author Brian D. McLaren. If I’m going to persuade you to do or think the way I want you to, I must come from a strong, confident place. This inclination to follow the confident is imbedded in our DNA; we chose to follow the strong leaders who could protect us and keep us safe. And today we are still inclined to go with, vote for and agree with those who can speak with confidence and power.
If we’re going to influence and persuade others to do what we need them to do, then we need to realize the importance of coming from a place of confidence. This means modeling characteristics of a confident person—great posture, eye contact, body language open and moderately loud voice. And we need to consider a few other key ideas that will help win over others.
- Keep it simple. Make one simple proposal or statement. Says McLaren, our brains prefer a simple falsehood to a complex truth, so the more we can keep an idea simple, the easier it will be for others to endorse it.
- Find common ground. We gravitate to people like us in all areas of our lives, so when we can find commonalities, even if it’s in the way we talk or the amount of energy we exude, then we start to build the foundation of trust.
- Build relationships. Joe Girard, in the Guinness Book of World Records as the greatest car salesman, didn’t sell cars, he built relationships. He remembered people’s birthdays, cared about their families and simply stayed in touch.
- Model what you want. Show humility, kindness, and most of all authentic appreciation. Whether we agree with others or not, when we can find something to appreciate and let them know, we start to create an environment that is more open to new ideas.
Many of us don’t feel confident all the time; it’s called being human. However when we act confident–regardless of how we’re feeling—we not only draw others to us but we actually start to feel more confident in the process. It’s what Stephen Covey would call a Win/Win!
