It was a full moon kind of night, and my friend and I were camping in a beautiful state park in south central Florida. We’d just gotten a lively campfire going (actually she did all the work, I was preparing to enjoy it) when a guy comes to the edge of our...

“Are you for real?” one of my very bright coaching clients said. He knew better, but he was so astonished at what a colleague had said via a group chat, he just blurted out that question. And of course, it went downhill from there. I’m amazed at how just a...

You are not what you did on your worst day, but an accumulation of all you’ve done in life. When I heard that statement recently it made me think of how often we focus on all the things we’ve done that haven’t worked out the way we wanted. We tend to keep auto...

There was a time, a long time ago, when I was going through a divorce and could only focus on a few hours at a time. To think about surviving a whole weekend seemed impossible, but I could damn well make it to noon. That strategy stayed with me until I got...

I have never been in more uncomfortable seats in my life, and that’s saying something since I’ve flownon dozens of cramped, small planes with no leg room unless you’re under four feet tall. But these seatswere the absolute worst. I was sitting in the Schubert Theater...

Poor Mrs. Stafford. She stood up, looked at us and yelled something like, “I’ve had it with all of you.” We had never seen our junior high teacher get rattled, and certainly she had never yelled at us (which we richly deserved). I think it was her equivalent...

Nod if you’ve ever heard someone say “It’s just how I am, I can’t help it.” What a catch phrase for anything we don’t want to put the energy and time into changing. Of course, we aren’t just the way we are with no tools to change, but it can be a handy...

It’s so easy to expect the worst, isn’t it? Whether it’s a meeting, a call, a doctor’s appointment or even a holiday, we can go back to similar situations where things didn’t go as planned, or our imaginations take over and we begin creating worst-case...

A reminder, don’t tolerate bad behavior, from yourself.  The other day I was having a bad day. I was grumpy, grouchy and despite my good intentions was definitely not someone I wanted to be around. How do I get out of this funk, I thought. Is it just...

Did you get what you wanted this year for Christmas or Chanukah? My holidays were fun and filled with thoughtful gifts from friends and family. I even joined in and gave myself a few things I wanted. Life was good. And, then there was the fire. As I was...

As we have the privilege of going into a new year, let’s not forget what we are capable of, instead of remembering what we believed we couldn’t accomplish or do. Old beliefs are just a collection of ideas we’ve told ourselves again and again, and don’t have to be our...

I read an article about a mother who was concerned her mentally challenged son would feel hurt at the end of the school day on Valentine’s Day, because other children sometimes made fun of him and she suspected no one would give him a Valentine’s card. But...

She was just so exhausting that by the time the weekend was over my daughter and I just wanted quiet and solitude. My daughter turned to me after we’d left her and said, “Now do you see why I think you’re so pushy.” What she was talking about was my style in DISC; I’m...

When I read these lines, it reminds me of how often in the past I used to go around in a half-awake stupor, doing what I had to do just to get through the day. And what a waste of precious time it was; I wasn’t brave or confident enough to see what mattered to me, and...

“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”    Carl Jung Author Chris Voss, in his great book Never Split the Difference, talks about his favorite F word: Fair. He explains companies can often use it in negative, manipulative...

Don’t be tempted to give away your happiness and joy this Thanksgiving by being upset with anything, regardless of what is happening around you. If you start to get frustrated with the way other people drive, go through security at an airport, talk in a...

When I taught at Microsoft years ago, I remember being surprised to hear again and again from the group I was teaching that they were being encouraged to fail. Not purposely, but to take chances, take risks, and realize failure was a necessary step toward...

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”  Henry Ford We’ve all read that quote from Henry Ford, and we’ve all heard story after story of people who believed they could, or couldn’t do something, and proved their beliefs were reality....

He wags his tail all the time, even while sleeping. His happy attitude is not contingent on treats, toys,praise or fun, he’s just a consummate tailwagger. He’s a canine optimist, who knows whatever happensat any given moment will be good. And this philosophy,...

The little girl, wearing a fancy white dress, was in a restaurant with her dad. When her chocolate soda came, her dad warned her to remember not to blow on the straw because the chocolate would bubble up and could ruin her dress. Can you guess what she did? Her dad...