I was teaching a class in Connecticut and one woman, sitting in the front row, kept her head down, eyes facing her lap for an hour and a half. It had to be incredibly uncomfortable; she didn’t want to attend my class. A man stood up at the beginning of a two-day class I was teaching and told me he didn’t plan to do anything i said during the next two days. And a woman in the back of a class started causing disruptions at the beginning of a class I was teaching and kept acting out all day, because (I later learned) she was angry her company went outside and hired me over using an internal trainer.
All three people directed anger at me, and my job was to QTIP it, remind myself to Quit Taking it Personally, regardless of the situation.
People act out based on their own agendas. Perhaps they’re angry, frustrated, frightened or any number of other emotions. I’m not excusing poor behavior, but when we internalize what happens and think it’s really about us, it depletes our energy, keeps us upset and wreaks havoc with productivity. Our job is to constantly remember it isn’t about us, even if it seems we’re the target.
And when we actively do this, we often defray the situation just because we’re not internalizing it. Be angry and it escalates. Choose to go on with your day, bet on your own successes, and you’ll often be amazed at the outcomes. As always, it starts with us.
