People will never behave the way we want them to, and if we stake our happiness or success on how everyone is treating us, we’re in trouble. Let me give you an example.
Recently my 22-year-old bikini clad granddaughter Rachel and I explored one of central Florida’s breathtaking springs. I was kayaking and she was on a paddle board. We had a fabulous afternoon that included paddling with manatees all around us. After two hours we headed to shore and the dock hand motioned me toward a small slip where I had to park my kayak. My granddaughter paddled to a different area where she could walk off her board to the dock. I could not climb out of my rocking kayak and eventually used all fours to stumble on deck, while she was annoyed the dock guy kept trying to take her hand to help her off her board. The dock guy didn’t remember I was even there he was so busy staring at Rachel, and might have noticed if I’d started to drown, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
Now I think he should have been more thoughtful and helped the older person who was having a heck of a time trying to get out of her kayak, but that’s my perspective, not his. And the more our days depend on how others behave, whether it’s how they drive, who is cooperative at work, who remembers our birthdays or doesn’t disappoint us, the more we’re doomed to perpetual frustration and aggravation. Did you know one statistic indicates 14% of people want to smack someone they work with and 90% of people say there is someone at work they consider a problem? All of us waste our time wanting family and friends and colleagues and strangers to behave the way we want them to. People are not necessarily going to act the way we would under similar circumstances, and taking the time to judge and use our precious energy and time lamenting that fact will continue to be a detriment to our happiness and well-being.
There are multiple ways to change this type of thinking, but just realizing it starts with us, not them, is enormous. We can decide it won’t be worth the energy, we can refocus on what matters, we can choose to pause, breathe and be at peace while the rest of the office is in an uproar. I’m not saying ignore reality; I am saying there is more than one version of reality. Everyone has a different perspective, and regardless of what is happening or what we encounter, just deciding we have a greater purpose than allowing the little things to annoy us can start to eradicate stress and frustration. It’s certainly worth a try, isn’t it?
As the inimitable Wayne Dyer said on manifesting our own destiny, “You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.”
