I’ll spend endless hours with my son trying to explain the obvious; he’s wrong and I’m right. And he’ll counter with a statement like, “I don’t know how a woman who is as smart as you can be so dumb when it comes to politics.” Obviously, we don’t agree.
Convincing someone of something when they hold a contrary perspective will not happen through coercion or argument. In my latest book, Shortcuts to Success, I remind people that to help others see a different viewpoint starts with genuine curiosity, asking authentic questions and learning why they think the way they do. Then, ask people if they’re open to hearing a different perspective.
William James, the father of American psychology, said “A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” We know we can’t force people into a different approach, and anger or frustration simply causes people to dig in.
The interesting thing I find is that when I quit trying to prove I’m right and listen with a genuine openness, I almost always learn something new.
