I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to relax. I like and take vacations, but when I’m home I cram as much as I possibly can into weekends and evenings. I need a break.
Apparently, I’m not the only one. We Americans don’t seem to know how to relax, even though we know the benefits. We often ignore our vacation time (according to Expedia.com’s 18th Vacation Deprivation Study, U.S. workers took the fewest average number of vacation days of all countries surveyed) and then we wonder why we’re tired, stressed and unproductive.
One remedy for adding energy back into our lives as well as increasing tolerance levels and social bonds with colleagues, according to Dachner Keltner, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkley, is to cultivate a sense of awe. In his new book, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life, he defines awe as a positive feeling we experience in the presence of something vast.
While that makes sense, it also appears challenging to do if we have busy schedules and tight deadlines. How are we going to make time to drop by the Grand Canyon before dinner? His solution—think small and focus on bite-size encounters that will still increase happiness and lower stress. His recommendations:
- Get outside – He explains that even one minute in nature can improve generosity and helpfulness in others, and reduce stress. From a personal perspective, every time I have a truly challenging situation, I head outdoors. At the very least I’m calmer and being in nature absorbs some of the pain or discomfort.
- Come together – Whatever you do that can include others creates what French sociologist Emile Durkeim called collective effervescence. This can mean anything from religious services, jam sessions or group exercise classes. As an avid line dancer, I’m always amazed at how great I feel after moving around for an hour and a half, laughing at getting my feet tangled in a complicated maneuver and talking to no one. All of us are experiencing versions of the same thing and there’s this silent camaraderie amid the loud country music blaring all around us.
- Observe moral beauty – Meaning notice others’ kindness, perseverance and courage. Who has inspired you, and how does it make you feel? Just observing, and not even doing, raises our happiness level. And imagine how much better we might feel if it emanates from us?
No guarantee that stopping to look at a sunset or smiling at an act of kindness in the grocery will make us giddy, but paying attention to what makes us smile, or takes our breath away, certainly seems to move us in the right direction.
