I was wondering if this was the universe sending me yet another test I needed to pass. If so, I was failing miserably. Just as I was getting ready to board for a flight to Atlanta and on to Houston, my name was called. Somehow, I had two seats, and I needed to decide which one I wanted. OK, I chose the seat closer to the front of the plane and then the fun began. Absolutely every single person boarded before me, they couldn’t figure out how to cancel the extra seat.
I’d just been reminding myself of the importance of not reacting to external stimuli, and additionally I had just had a conversation regarding someone who annoyed everyone and therefore people avoided him like some new kind of plague.
Then the episode with the two-seat-conundrum happened. I was frustrated and annoyed and showed it. Great, I thought, I’ve still got to remember to pause, collect my thoughts, and speak with tolerance and kindness. I’ve still got work to do. And sure enough as soon as my second plane was delayed and I called the hotel to tell them I was going to arrive late, I was informed that my room would vanish if I didn’t check in by 1:00 am. And did I mention somehow the return flight got accidentally cancelled?
Let’s stop there and just say we all have challenges. It was the late Dinah Washington who sang what a difference a day makes.
Isn’t it true? We feel defeated or upset or disappointed and can’t even imagine an end in sight. Yet everything is temporary thank goodness. We have no idea what opportunities might be just around the corner, as long as we’re open and looking for them. When we can remember our perception of an event makes it what it is, we have control over every situation. It’s the pausing and remembering part that takes work.
To put it another way, resilient thinkers have an internal locus of control, meaning they believe that they are responsible for how they’re feeling and not their circumstances. Where can we use the past as a learning opportunity, a reminder we still get to choose how we think about and respond to anything. Misery is optional and happiness is a skill and a choice.
“I am the master of my fate,” we read in Invictus. “I am the captain of my soul”.
