Here I am stepping into some pretty big shoes/clogs at a tourist site in the Netherlands. And this picture seemed to fit what I’m talking about here, stepping into the shoes–and perspective–of someone else. I recall once asking everyone in a class I was teaching to please take their shoes off and trade with someone else, to understand what it was like to really be in their shoes, and mindset. I was almost physically removed from the room; no one liked the idea!
Hearing through someone’s ears, really seeing through another’s eyes what they are seeing, and subsequently “stepping” into their shoes, is powerful, insightful, and not very easily done. Let me give you an example.
The other day I was talking to someone about a really strange job interview. The person she was meeting with told her all about the facility and asked a lot of thought-provoking questions. It was a long conversation, and somewhere during their talk he also told her what she would be doing in her new job. Then he said something to the effect of, “but we’re just talking. If you’re interested you need to go fill out an application,” even though she had brought her resume and the meeting was set up to talk about the job.
All this seemed very strange to my friend. Yet as we talked and she described her potential employer to me, it became clear he was very much a do-it-by-the-book type of person, where everything is done in the appropriate order. Through his eyes the conversation wasn’t odd at all. In his shoes you talk to someone and then after sizing them up if they seem appropriate, you tell them to submit a formal application and move on from there. That’s the thing though, unless we can truly see something through the eyes of the other person, much of what we are experiencing just doesn’t make sense.
The next time you’re trying to figure out what someone was thinking and why they did what they did, genuinely try to see the behavior through their eyes, really step into their shoes. Doesn’t mean you have to agree at all, but it goes a long way toward finding middle ground and working from a place of understanding and respect.
