He was walking in Manhattan when he saw an elderly woman fall in the street. He rushed over to help her and she took his hand, looked up and let go of him and said, “Go back to where you came from.” He came from San Antonio, TX, but because he wore a turban, he was perceived a threat.
In his book The Light We Give, the author Simran Jeet Singh talks about how he had to learn to change his perspective on people, so that instead of running away from them in fear or standing up for himself and fighting, he found a better way, to treat them with tolerance and respect regardless of how he was treated. So, he called over others to help the elderly woman and make sure she was OK.
His comments about choosing how he treats people, even if they’re bullying or disrespecting him, gave me a whole new perspective on staying happy and not allowing people to stress me out. It’s so simple, it’s so easy, and yet I’ve danced around this answer for a long time. Let me digress a bit and talk about running into two customer service people in one morning who truly were clueless. And both of them annoyed me. After mulling over their behavior, I decided if only people were emotionally intelligent, I wouldn’t get annoyed, but all those others were just a lost cause.
And then it hit me, it’s never about the other person, ever. It’s always and only about me and how I react to the situation. The old formula E + R = O has been around a long time, and it still applies. The event plus our response equals the outcome. I speak to someone who is rude and my response is unpleasant, the outcome will be unpleasant for me.
Obviously, it’s a no brainer, it’s never about the lousy driver, the micromanaging boss or the many other pinprick size annoyances. We all get to choose to go through our days feeling good, or we can choose other options. Think about which you’d prefer.
