I was thinking about holding grudges the other day when I watched one of my puppies put the entire head of my cat in his mouth. They were both playing but I yelled, fearful his over-zealous personality might end in disaster. The cat wasn’t very happy about it either. However, in a matter of moments they were both up playing again, along with my other puppy. The cat had no compunction about staying safe and away from the puppies, he went right back into the fray and seemed to forget the head-in-dog’s-mouth incident.
Made me think of how often I hold grudges. You bet if the equivalent of the head-in-mouth scenario happened to me, I’d be reticent to even interact with that person again. It is the easiest thing to hold onto a justifiable grudge, especially if the reason we’re holding that grudge still touches an emotion. And yet, according to Bryan Robinson, Ph.D., we suffer mental and
physical harm when we hold onto grudges. In fact, he says, the side effect of holding grudges has been compared to eating rat poison, and then waiting for the rat to die. He said research shows harboring resentment erodes our physical and mental health and depletes our energy.
Letting go of past grudges can be a challenge, but it’s worth the effort. People (even those we’re currently angry or frustrated with) do the best they can under the circumstances. And while it doesn’t excuse poor judgement, it can remind us that we’re not perfect as well. It’s much smarter to focus on what we can control, appreciate what is working and create short-term
memory loss when it comes to those who frustrate us. We don’t have to continue interacting with them, but they also aren’t worth taking our precious time, energy or happiness.
