Years ago, when I attended a Toastmaster’s class because I was terribly frightened to get up in front of people and speak, someone came up to me and suggested I had talent as a speaker. And this small comment gave me a nudge that enabled me to feel confident...

There were buttons to turn on the overhead lights, but when I pushed them, nothing happened. I turned on my phone flashlight and felt around for hidden buttons. Finally, I gave up, called the flight attendant and asked how to turn on the lights. She pushed the...

I teach empathy and empathetic language, and I’ve taught it for a very long time. And I realized recently that when it came to using empathy, I was a dismal failure. Let me explain. I have a relative I don’t know very well. We’ve been thrown together recently due...

Way back in high school one of my best friends and I entered a state-wide writing contest. I won, andshe went on to become a very successful TV writer. She imagined writing sitcoms, left her teaching job to move to LA and pursue her dream, and made itbig. Among other...

Have you ever noticed how many people seem to unpack memories of past mistakes and missed opportunities this time of year? In a recent issue of Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper there was an article on biggest regrets. “One of the hardest lessons I've ever had to...

I was really excited at the possibility of teaching presentational skills to every employee at a prestigious Manhattan bank. At the time Dun & Bradstreet had a training division and I had worked with them creating a similar program on how to be a persuasive...

Merlin, my six-month-old cocker spaniel, graduated from puppy school recently. He didn’t learn much, but every puppy got a diploma. Since he’s apparently a slow learner, I was contemplating what I learned and what I still needed to do, and I started thinking...

Have you ever thought about the fact that often we judge someone’s worst behavior against our best behavior?  The other day I was with someone who was very annoyed about something and lashed out at me in the process. I took it personally (I shouldn’t have) and...

In his Educare Unlearning blog, Sandy Wilder talked about partialness, and said: “Pretty much every time we look at and identify someone, we are choosing a partial view.” He went on to say that we then believe in this partial perspective and judge accordingly. And it...

Robert Sapolsky says we have no free will. Sapolsky, a Stanford University neurobiologist, explains in his book, Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will, that neurochemical influences that occurred milliseconds ago to centuries in the past are...

While spending time with my brother, a retired Methodist minister, we started swapping examples of “do’s and don’ts” when trying to make a point. We talked about some that worked, and some that just made you wonder, what on earth were they thinking!...

Psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman, known as the father of Positive Psychology, tells the story of being with his daughter one day when she turned to him and told him he was grouchy. He had never considered that label for himself, but reluctantly admitted that...

I was wondering if this was the universe sending me yet another test I needed to pass. If so, I was failing miserably. Just as I was getting ready to board for a flight to Atlanta and on to Houston, my name was called. Somehow, I had two seats, and I needed to decide...

Have you ever met a five-year-old who apologized for his artwork? A six-year-old who didn’t believe her new song or game were amazing? Children don’t question their creativity or ability, they just accept it as normal and love to share their talents with others. Then...

Carl Jung reminded us that unless we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our lives and we will call it fate. How often do we hear people proclaim, “It’s just who I am, nothing I can do about it."  Research indicates that 88% of our thinking is...

Never mind New Year’s resolutions, I’ve been attempting to add one small resolution to my schedule for months (probably since last January). I’ve asked advice, tried various strategies and nothing worked! All I wanted to do was find a way to start practicing...

“Have you ever noticed that everyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone goingfaster than you is a maniac?” George Carlin The late comedian George Carlin’s remarks hit home for me because I’m always carrying on imaginary conversations with the slow drivers...

I have this future, better self I intended to start working on back in January. I would respond altruistically to situations, handle problems with kindness and offer creative strategies to challenges I’m tasked with solving in my speaking and coaching...

As a teenager I can recall being told by certain people in authority to “Watch my language,” probably meaning I wasn’t speaking with enough respect. There’s a broader meaning these days that focuses on how people are sizing up and focusing on a problem.  When...

It had been a really long day and now we’d been waiting for our check at the restaurant for quite a while. Not the waiter’s fault since the place was buzzing and there definitely wasn’t enough wait staff. I was ready to go ask (nicely) for the check, and I was in a...