There was a time, a long time ago, when I was going through a divorce and could only focus on a few hours at a time. To think about surviving a whole weekend seemed impossible, but I could damn well make it to noon. That strategy stayed with me until I got through the process and began to heal.
Fast forward many years and an entirely different mindset, and I discovered there’s another good reason for following that old strategy. Staying in the present, or a reasonable facsimile, eliminates an inordinate amount of unnecessary worry and stress. Whether we’re thinking about an upcoming presentation, handling conflict or just dealing with travel, it’s the future perceived challenges that disrupt our present.
I tried out this concept recently when I flew to New York on business. Normally, once I’m on the plane I start obsessing over how much time I have to allow in Manhattan traffic to get back to the airport, and how difficult it will be to get a taxi. And if I have a long drive (an hour and a half to the Jacksonville Florida airport in this case) I start to worry that there’ll be a steady downpour making my trip miserable or merges into rush hour stressful. Then I worry about how long it will take to get a taxi from the airport, and on and on. Crazy isn’t it? Hardly any time to be prepared for, or enjoy the present.
This trip, every time my mind started to veer off toward dreaming up mental calamities, I went right back to focusing on the present, and I got through my trip with less angst and greater ease. I even had fun and added a twist to help me visualize the importance of staying in the present. Each time I started to stray into worry or negativity, I imagined the future a deep black blue, as if an octopus had just sprayed my reality with its ink. It was a useful and vivid reminder to stay focused on the here and now. When I think about it, I’m amazed at how often, in the past, I invested hours in worrying, And I’m convinced my new strategy of mindfulness will save me hours of frustration and needless worry. You might think about trying it for yourself, and let me know how it works.
