I’m guessing many of you reading this have been part of a 360 review, where everyone at your work gets to tell you what you’re not doing well and how you can improve. I used to coach an engineer who got such devastating feedback on his 360 review one year that it...

The debate is over, we’ve taken sides and that’s fine. We’re fortunate to live in a country where we getto vote for whomever we choose. However, any language or discussion that leads to anger and meanness is counter productive toeverything we do. Kindness can never be...

I found myself watching with half amusement, half fury as a car pulled out right in front of me while I was in a parking lot nearing my grocery. Had I been looking away for an instant, we would have crashed. Did this stupid driver just think I was going to stop out of...

Want people to remember something? Make it memorable. A professor brought in a guest lecturer. He immediately took off the hazmat suit he was wearing, turned on some music and proceeded to strip. He ended up stopping when he got down to his scanty gold booty...

In order to really work effectively with people, it’s essential to understand what they’re feeling. And a simplistic and unique way to pay more attention to the nuances of others’ feelings is to name their emotion. Not out loud, of course, but to yourself....

Most people, on their death beds, don’t wish they had stayed at the office longer answering more emails. Instead, their regrets typically begin with not living the kind of life they should have lived, or done the things they had dreamed of doing. In Seven...

According to Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference, being accepted and being understood are crucial in effective negotiation, and it seems equally important in most types of communication. He also states in his book...

When in Paris with my daughter years ago, she stopped someone to ask where the war was. She meant to ask where the station was, for a train we were catching, but the words in French are similar (la gare- station and la guerre-war) and it was easy to get the wrong...

It was the most frightening thing I’ve done in my life. I am terrified of height and here I was climbing without any gear up a 500 feet vertical cliff, as I followed others along our route to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro. I had specifically told our guide I was scared...

As I often love to repeat, Einstein reminded us imagination is more powerful than knowledge. So, for just a moment, disconnect from your logical left brain and think about one aspect of your life you might be interested in changing. Then ask yourself the following...

We all know that asking the right questions and identifying root causes are key in problem solving. And a technique I’ve found useful over the years, primarily because it gets the emotion out of the dialogue, is using the “Five Why’s Deep” formula....

Have you ever wondered if you accidentally stumbled into the wrong conversation? Let’s say a family member or good friend shares something emotional with you. Immediately, because you care for this person, you suggest what should be done to rectify the situation and...

Near the beginning of my keynote speeches, I used to tell a story of two wolves vying for attention. It’s been told in many different ways but the gist is, a father was talking to his son and said, “Inside me are two wolves, one is good and one is evil. And they’re...

I’m pretty sure I have a green thumb, because almost everything that comes into my yard thrives, multiplies and is wildly prolific. Things flourish! To flourish, according to Webster’s definition, is to grow luxuriantly, to achieve success, and to be in a...

It was the simplest of exercises. You take a piece of paper and fold it a few times and voila, you get a paper hat. I practiced multiple times before introducing it in one of my classes, where I just couldn’t make it work. Eventually I figured out...

Years ago, I was visiting my son and his girl friend in San Diego. As I was preparing to return to New York City, they took me to one of my favorite spots by the ocean. I held my arms out, turned my face up to the sun and said something to the effect of how much I...

I was thinking about holding grudges the other day when I watched one of my puppies put the entire head of my cat in his mouth. They were both playing but I yelled, fearful his over-zealous personality might end in disaster. The cat wasn’t very happy about it either....

Here I am stepping into some pretty big shoes/clogs at a tourist site in the Netherlands. And this picture seemed to fit what I’m talking about here, stepping into the shoes--and perspective--of someone else. I recall once asking everyone in a class I was teaching to...

My daughter, grandson and I just returned from a trip to Europe, and while there we stayed in a wonderful hotel in Brussels. What I found (and find) interesting, is how hotels asked us what we were unhappy about, what could they have improved upon. Well immediately...

I just finished speaking to an amazing group of people at Pabco Products, in Rancho Cordova, CA, and in this two-day class there was a lot of discussion centered around subconscious discrimination based on perception. Do tattoos mean savvy and creative or...