Small talk sounds like what you do at the doctor’s office when you feel obliged to say something. Or at the networking event still on Zoom, and you’ve got to interact with the small photos of 20 strangers. However, here’s a big twist on small talk.
When you start with small talk, and see it as a stepping stone to better talk, it’s got a purpose. And the next strategy is to plan two or three questions that are night and day from the regular questions you get most of the time, when you’re in the small-talk mode.
As an example, if someone asks, “How are you?” My answer is usually “Great thank you” and go on with my life. What if I replied, “I’m a 7.5 right now, working my way up to a 9.” It would definitely start a conversation. You could start a conversation with “What’s the bravest thing you’ve done today?” or “What’s the best mistake you’ve ever made?” or “What do you notice first about a person?”
And if you want to practice even though it’s a place people don’t strike up conversations, then do a pre-frame. Say something like, “I know we don’t talk to strangers in an elevator, but your briefcase is striking.”
Here’s the point. Once the conversation is launched and gets past the polite responses, you can always learn from whomever you are talking to, and since everything comes down to who you know and who knows what you know, building small talk into better talk is always a smart strategy.
