Every time I get to my assigned seat on a plane I begin to worry who might sit down next to me and start talking. If they’re really garrulous, I’ll have to put on my serious teaching face and explain I’m working on a project and can’t talk. In other words, I’m not a conversationalist on a plane. Respectfully, I want to be left alone.
Wrong says Jancee Dunn in an article on the benefits of small talk. She insists that if we want to feel better during our day, talk to strangers! Really???
She describes our loose network of casual acquaintances or strangers as “weak ties,” and says they have a direct effect on our happiness. Going back to how much I value my privacy on planes, I wasn’t sure I agreed with her. However I did more research and Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of The Good Life, insists that by saying hello to strangers it affects our mood and gives us a greater sense of well-being.
And there’s more. Waldinger also says there’s a good chance we’ll actually learn something valuable in these encounters, which made me realize how much I have learned on the rare times I initiated small talk. For example, when I lived in Manhattan, I would often comment on something someone was wearing, or share frustration at a long subway wait or comment on a great sunset or slice of pizza. By doing so I found, among other things, a job by commenting on a woman’s haircut, pet insurance I could afford by telling someone how cute her dog was and a writing connection at the New York Times, by sharing a dog story.
I don’t walk the streets of Manhattan any more, but I’ve realized if I’m picking up cleaning, waiting for an elevator or standing in line for a sandwich, these are all perfect opportunities to invest in a little small talk, and just see where it goes!
